I don’t often agree with the shrub, but this memo, ostensibly leaked from the navel postgraduate school, seems to suggest a reasonable course of action. Note too that only the day, not the date, is specified, so this can be an ongoing campaign.
Subject: Saturday afternoon activities
The President of the United States, George W. Bush, has asked that all Americans
unite together in a common cause to root out terrorists hiding in our community.
The Taliban cannot stand nudity, and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that
is not one’s wife. Therefore, on Saturday afternoon at 2:00 pm EST, all
patriotic American women
are asked to walk out of their house completely naked
to help weed out any terrorists hiding in their neighborhood. Circling your
block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All men should position themselves in lawn chairs in front of your house to
prove that you think it’s OK to see other women nude. Since they also do not
approve of alcohol, having a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your
anti-Taliban sentiment.
Cooking a pig on your barbecue will also be helpful.
Names and addresses of all non-participants, male and female, should be sent to
CIA Headquarters, Langley, Virginia.
The United States of America appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and
applauds your efforts.
Please by all means, send this to your fellow Patriots to ensure 100%
participation